Thoughts and feelings

I'm on my own nearly all of the time. Walking all day, doing stuff by myself, I wonder, what do I think about? Maybe my mind is empty, that's not a bad thing I suppose. A few years ago I would of been terrified if I knew I was going to end up like this; not many friends, doing my own thing. How will I cope without lots of interaction with people? Well, I'm managing just fine, thank you. It's funny, I don't see myself as a loner. I'm happy to talk to people I meet on the streets, in coffee shops or pubs. Anywhere. Only a quick chat, hoping I've left a nice impression on them. Maybe that is my weakness, I don't feel I'm like others when it comes to talking to someone for the first time. I worry that I come across a bit stand offish? Sometimes,  I'm talking to a lady that I find attractive and my pulse has quickened. I think, afterwards, did I come across as not interested, too laid back, should I have made more of an effort? Everybody wants to be l...

It's 6:48am on November 12th. I'm stood outside the house as I press start on my watch and slowly run off down the street. I decided about 2 weeks ago that I would run 55km on my birthday to honour the fact that I'd made it to 55 years old. I'd felt pretty good on my runs over the last couple of months and I was sure  the distance was within me. As usual it wasn't a case of if I could do it, I was more interested in how it would feel as I did it. My only slight concern was water, I was carrying 1.5 litres but apart from someone's house or a stream there wasn't anywhere to get water on the route that I'd chosen, if I ran out. It was 17 miles out over the country lanes, once I'd got halfway along Coniston Water I'd turn around and come back. I walked up the first hill, about 15 minutes after I'd started. I was determined to fast hike any hills and gain time back on the flats and the downhills. After 5 miles I ate some flapjack. It...