Thoughts and feelings

I don't think it's selfish to focus on yourself. More people should do it. I've noticed in the last two years that I'm continuing to grow, in a quiet, unassuming way. I look back at where I was and I feel I'm almost a different person. Don't get me wrong, I've always been happy and I've not had many sad points in my life. But there's a contentment entering my life, it's been nurtured and I don't think it will ever leave me. Is it an age thing? I doubt it, I've never believed age is a barrier, an excuse or a route to wisdom. Not all old people are wise are they? Or know how to be nice to others. I'm just learning that to do your own thing, whatever makes you feel good, is the easiest way to get more peace into your life. This is another reason I stay away from social media. Why would I be interested in a strangers life? I don't take any inspiration from it at all. Influencers are almost saying, look what I have, look at my amazing ...

I'm on my own nearly all of the time. Walking all day, doing stuff by myself, I wonder, what do I think about? Maybe my mind is empty, that's not a bad thing I suppose. A few years ago I would of been terrified if I knew I was going to end up like this; not many friends, doing my own thing. How will I cope without lots of interaction with people? Well, I'm managing just fine, thank you. It's funny, I don't see myself as a loner. I'm happy to talk to people I meet on the streets, in coffee shops or pubs. Anywhere. Only a quick chat, hoping I've left a nice impression on them. Maybe that is my weakness, I don't feel I'm like others when it comes to talking to someone for the first time. I worry that I come across a bit stand offish? Sometimes,  I'm talking to a lady that I find attractive and my pulse has quickened. I think, afterwards, did I come across as not interested, too laid back, should I have made more of an effort? Everybody wants to be l...

It's 6:48am on November 12th. I'm stood outside the house as I press start on my watch and slowly run off down the street. I decided about 2 weeks ago that I would run 55km on my birthday to honour the fact that I'd made it to 55 years old. I'd felt pretty good on my runs over the last couple of months and I was sure  the distance was within me. As usual it wasn't a case of if I could do it, I was more interested in how it would feel as I did it. My only slight concern was water, I was carrying 1.5 litres but apart from someone's house or a stream there wasn't anywhere to get water on the route that I'd chosen, if I ran out. It was 17 miles out over the country lanes, once I'd got halfway along Coniston Water I'd turn around and come back. I walked up the first hill, about 15 minutes after I'd started. I was determined to fast hike any hills and gain time back on the flats and the downhills. After 5 miles I ate some flapjack. It...

Hello again, It's a complicated journey to learn how to live a simple life. I don't mean a materialistic simplicity. For me that was the easy bit. Hire a skip, throw nearly everything in it and be left with the basics. I did that, all I had left was a holdall, a backpack and a suitcase with all my worldly belongings in. I'm not bragging or being flippant, I've just never held any big emotion to items in my life. The important things for me are my memories, places I've been, conversations I've had with interesting people, books I've read, these things are carried in my head and in my heart. Without realising,  I've been slowly stripping back my life, getting down to the real soul of it. Seeing the beauty in small, inconsequential stuff that is all around us. Photographing butterflies, watching people laughing, walking on a sunny day with no destination in mind. I could go on and on. I spend a lot of time on my own, I'm content, never lonely. That'...

I'm not a cyclist. I'm writing this as I complete week 11 of my bike trip. But at home I don't ride a bike either for fitness or leisure. I walk everywhere or I take the train. But on longer trips I absolutely must travel by bike. It's such a great way to see everywhere and be involved in the scenery. It's not that I want to ride my bike so much, it's a case that I need to. There's a pull that makes me have to do it. Not for some macho image thing. I just like the fact I'm doing something I wouldn't normally do. That has also added to the challenge of this trip, to get up and load the bike every day and ride for about 35 miles on average. I mean, I'm not a long way out of my comfort zone or anything. But when you don't usually cycle much it is another aspect to deal with. I can understand why people love to get serious about cycling. After a while the fitness builds up and you don't realise it. Today I rode 49 miles mostly into a headwind...

I clearly remember my emotions as I cycled off up the street to start this bike trip. I didn't feel nervous, how could I? It's my decision to do this, nobody else's. I stripped it down to the basic fact, I'm going on a bike ride. Excitement was not really there either, I'm not 8 years old and on my way to Alton Towers. I felt totally calm, ready to embrace the unknown. The reason behind my feelings, I think, is the fact that I had absolutely no route planned. Maybe you can go with the flow easier when you have no destination in mind. After the first week, you start to master the art of slowing down. It sounds simple but I think modern life and social media gang up on you, certain expectations are always there in the background, subconsciously pushing you on. I don't mean you slow down physically, I'm still riding the same distances each week. I think it's an altering of your mindset that is more important. Focus on yourself and the inner contentment that...

I started playing football when I was 8 years old. I then continued to play pretty much for the next 20 years.  So many people have said to me " You, play football? You don't look the type" But I loved it. It wasn't about winning for me. It was about doing your best and enjoying it. Any team can get beat, that's not a problem, but I hated losing if the effort was not there. From me or my teammates.  Solo events are different for me, I'm challenging myself, and that's fine. But in a football team you have to drive others on, it's a collective thing. I've played football, tennis, volleyball, cycled, hiked. I even enjoyed badminton at school. For the last 15 years my main form of exercise has been running. Not short fast stuff, more the marathon and beyond distances, they seem to suit my mindset. I've always walked everywhere, it's so cathartic. It can be a walk out in the countryside, it's almost spiritual. Or even just a stroll to the su...

I thought I'd write a little bit on some of the other cycletourers that I have met after 7 weeks on the road. I'll put their ages down as I think in some cases it serves as a source of inspiration.  Daniel, 34.  He was riding from his home in Munich up to Hamburg to meet his brother, they were then going to carry on to Copenhagen. He told me he was a keen skateboarder and his plan for next year was to cycle to Greece and stay with a friend in Athens and go skateboarding every day. His bike was 100€ off Ebay and his tent cost him 30€. A couple outside Lidl, both 75. They had so much stuff with them, it's a wonder the bikes could stay upright. They had left from Rome and were cycling back to their home in Amsterdam. We stood and laughed for 10 minutes. They were both great fun. Then a teenage girl joined us, for a chat. She was riding for 3 days to stay with her grandparents, along the Rhine. Henrik, 59. He was going from Copenhagen to Marseille, he was on an old racing bike,...

I'm stood in the laundry room of the campsite. My endless search for a plug socket so I could charge my phone had brought me here. A Dutch guy walked in. We started chatting about football and stuff, he was really friendly. After a while he left, no problems.  Anyway, about 30 minutes later he came back in with his wife. After introductions we talked in depth about my trip and they were impressed. He then asked me how I felt about being out on the road. I replied it gave me a sense of freedom. To which he said  "But I also have a sense of freedom within me, mine is given to me by Jesus Christ our Saviour" My heart sank, I thought to myself - here we go. He then rambled on about knowing he'd be living forever in God's arms in the eternal afterlife. He said to me "You are a believer also" but it was said more as a statement than a question. I answered politely No, I'm not at all, but if someone is and it makes them happy then it's not for me to say...

In Germany, a lot of my routes have been on gravel tracks, through forest and farmland. The tracks are wide enough for a tractor or truck. They have a grass strip down the middle or a rocky surface. So, effectively it's like two narrow paths. As I'm riding along, I'm constantly looking over at the other path. And I'm thinking to myself,  that looks smoother than the one I'm riding on. It doesn't look as rocky as mine with fewer potholes. Of course, as soon as you switch over, it's no different.  The grass isn't always greener and all that. This led me on to think about being jealous of others and what they have. Is their grass greener than mine?  I've never been bothered about other people having nice things, a fancy car, big house etc. If they've worked hard and want these material possessions then who am I to question it? Just don't be showing off. It's not for me at all. The less I have, the more content I feel. Don't get me wrong,...

I'm sat outside of my tent. It's the morning and it's raining. As I contemplate getting packed up I hear the crunch of tyres on the campsite path next to me. I look up and there's a caravan slowly  trundling past me. The only thing is, it's not attached to a car. Now, I've spent a lot of time on campsites but I've not seen this before. It's heading towards a parked car, about 30 metres away. I notice a woman stood on the grass verge, she's using a remote control to direct the caravan.  Ah! So that is how they can park these things in such tight spaces. I suppose it makes sense, I'm not big in the caravanning world but it's obvious now.  You live and learn, it is 2024 after all. Later that same morning, I'm sat outside Lidl having a break. A guy came up on his bike and stopped next to me. He had a big beer belly and a lycra cycling top unzipped half way down. I liked him straight away. You could see he didn't care. He'd come to do ...

A testing four days for me. I'm using Google Maps now and it's keeping me clear of the roads which is great. But the route instead is leading to madness, gravel tracks around farmers fields with big pot holes in them, single track through overgrown bushes and public bridleways that haven't been used for years. I would say 30 percent of my daily ride has been completely offroad, the rest on cyclepaths. It's rained a lot over those four days as well. One day was particularly bad. I was completely lost in a big forest for about 90 mins. Just loads of tracks going in different directions. I had no signal on my phone so I was just pedalling around, the bike was taking a hammering and I was concerned about the tyres blowing out, as they were road slicks. I had to keep stopping and climbing over fallen trees, it was a proper test of mental and physical strength. I wouldn't say I was worried but I was  definitely getting apprehensive about the situation. Eventually I came a...

I was riding along today and all I had was the hum of the tyres on the tarmac. It was hypnotising.  After a while I started thinking of the scenery all around me. It's too easy to take the beauty of nature for granted. When you stop and really focus on the countryside it's like, " Wow" I've not got my good camera with me on this trip but sometimes I like to just stand and look, drink it all in. I don't always want to capture the scene. In a selfish way, I see it as my reward for being out here, doing it. If the scenery is amazing then I don't want to photograph it and share it. It's my moment, it's mine. This led me on to more thoughts. The views will always be there to revisit and it's great to see them, wherever you are in the world. But, the memory of the view lives with me for only a fleeting moment. I see it, I love it and then I move on. More importantly for me on these trips, are the people I meet. Some can leave an indelible mark on me....

The two Canadian guys I met last week were both called Michael and both were 69. Last night I camped on a great little site, had everything you needed and was 7€, you just put your money in an envelope and dropped it into a box. A guy wandered over for a chat, he was from New Zealand. During the conversation he mentioned he was called Michael and was 69 years old. I didn't say anything, he then told me that the previous night he'd camped with a man from Scotland, who was called Michael and was 69. If this carries on it's going to freak me out. I met a great character who was from Denmark, he'd got his son to put his flat on airbnb for him and he was off cycling for 3 months down into France. He'd done loads of stuff, walked the West Highland Way, plenty of cycletouring. He'd also run a marathon in Morocco, he said it was funny as the local runners were getting a lift from their mates on their bikes! Then jumping off to claim their finishers medal. Met a couple w...

Nice ride today from Leeuwarden, last night I  camped at a little harbour, 5 euros. When I arrived the owner was washing his car, I asked if I could camp and he said its campervans only. Ok, I said, no problem. He then smiled and said put your tent up behind the office and I'll bring you a cup of tea.  I stopped on today's ride about halfway. A lovely tiny little hamlet. As with everywhere here, it was very quiet and so clean. I sat on a bench next to the canal  glad to be off the bike for 10 minutes. I was thinking to myself, this is the life. I looked up across the canal and about 20 meters away from me some guys shed was on fire. And I mean proper on fire and smoke billowing out. The owner came out and walked past me so slow it was funny. He went into the cafe  behind me and got a fire extinguisher. His walk back was even slower because he could hardly carry the thing. The fire brigade turned up and sorted it out, so all good. I arrived at a campsite, not what I w...

So, I woke up this morning and my phone was saying it had moisture damage and would not charge. This affected me in a different way to normal. Maybe because I'm away on my own and your phone has your bank on it and you can look for campsites, ferries, routes and all sorts of things. I got really worked up about it, during the days ride its all I could think about. But in the end as always, I thought bloody hell Keith, pull yourself together. You've got bank cards, you can buy a map and in the grand scheme of things it's no big deal at all. I'm riding my bike in Europe, I'm healthy and I have food in my panniers. A wash of calm came over me. Find a town, find a shop and get it sorted. And you know what? That's exactly what I did. The campsite was a big garden in some guys house. Not long after I arrived two guys from Canada turned up on bikes. I spent most of the night in deep discussion with Mike, 69 who was a lawyer. We told each other some stuff that we'd ...

First week done, rode 215 miles and walked 35 miles. Solid start to the trip. I have to say, the Dutch are great fun. Every conversation I've had with them has ended in lots of laughter. They seem a bit manic and they love the outdoors, that's obvious with all the cycling. Bikes are everywhere and the separate bike paths encourage you to get out. Not got a map, I'm just picking a town about 30 miles away and trying to navigate to it using the cycle paths, I have to check my phone now and again if it feels the wrong way or just for reassurance. But when you haven't really got a destination then you can't get lost I suppose. I need to eat more during the day, I'm snacking while riding then trying to have a big meal in the evening.  I still feel calorie deficient though. I've eaten out a bit and virtually all the meals, vegan, have been good. Although today I had a pizza and it was drier than an Arabs flip flop, am I allowed to say that? People are so friendly ...

I left Andre at the ferry terminal, he gave me a hug and his address, I was grateful for both. I mentioned if I turned up at his house in France he may not be in. He replied with smiling eyes that his front door is never locked and I can just go in, occupied or not. He pedalled off towards Norway, not a care in the world. As yet I have no map, so I got on the cycle path and headed Eastish. I ended up in Haarlem, bought bananas and dates and then it was on to Amsterdam, really well signposted and the cycle path was virtually empty. Once I hit the City centre it was a completely different story. It was a perpetual motion of cyclists,  hundreds upon hundreds. It was a challenge to learn the 'rules'. Once I joined this dance you just got swept along in the flow of it all. There was no stopping and no slowing down. It reminded me of a revolving dance floor in Newcastle - I couldn't get off that either. Anyway, I made it to my campsite. Booked 2 nights to give me a chance to have...

I arrived at the ferry terminal at 1:30pm without a ticket to cross over to Holland. For some reason I was hoping to find somebody I could share a cabin with. To save money. 10 minutes later a man walked over and said he was also cycle touring, he was French and he'd been in Scotland for 5 weeks. We chatted for a while then I asked him where he was going to, he replied to Holland. Once the booking office opened we agreed to share the cost of a ticket. After handing in our passports the lady then said she needs to give them to the police to be checked. I thought this was strange so I asked Andre where had he been? This then led him to tell me he had cycled from China to France, from Alaska to Peru and from New York to San Francisco via New Orleans. All with his wife.  Eventually the police returned the passports, asking my friend about his various travels. We were issued boarding passes and got on the ferry. In the cabin we chatted some more about our travels. His bike trip from New...

I already know that this trip will be all about people. I met a woman walking the Penine Way, on her own, she told me if you ever get lost in life then just choose "Freedom". That is so true. A couple were out hiking and they highly recommended to me Holland and Germany for cycling. He said in 3 years when he retired he and his wife would be travelling all the time. Met a guy from Jamaica outside a petrol station. He was so funny, kept giving me high fives. He said just live your life brother. After he told me he was 50 I said to him that his skin was so  smooth, he replied "Yeah man, black don't crack!" Loads of people on the campsite all walking the Hadrians Wall route.  The lady in the wash area said a group of them are doing it to raise money for some special hospital beds. They have raised 50 thousand pounds already. One of the walkers brothers died from a brain tumour, he was only 40, and now the whole family are on a mission to help people. I absolutely l...

I know it's a cliché that music is a big part of people's life but for me it's true. Buying vinyl as a teenager, reading all the sleeve notes. Having a Sony Walkman on all the time. I listened to The Jam and Northern Soul, I loved the clothes and the energy. All the artists I listened to back then I still listen to now, 40 years later. Paul Weller, Van Morrison, The Blue Nile, Nick Drake, Nick Cave. When I think about it, a lot of the songs are slow and reflective, it stops and makes me think. I've never been into Popmusic,  throwaway stuff. I need to feel it, I want it to take me somewhere.  I can't go out for a walk on the streets without music playing, but if I'm walking in the countryside I don't listen to music at all, I need that connection with nature, with no distractions. As a 16 year old I came across a cassette tape, Into the Music by Van Morrison and I swear, it changed my life. I had never heard anything like it before, it was mystical. And ther...

This was my 7th time of running this event. My training had gone really well, apart from an ache in my groin which I can manage. I know when to take a day off and rest and when it's OK to push it a bit. My alarm went off at 2:15am, then it's a slow get ready, no rush. Bagels and almond butter and sunflower seeds and a banana. 500ml of water. I sit and reflect on the day ahead. There are always nerves, even though I'm just taking part and raising money for charity, it's not as if I'm trying to win the thing. I break the day down into small sections, get to the bus on time and then relax for the 2hr journey to the start. Why do I do these things? In my head I'm trying to master the self doubt. I've trained, I'm fit, mentally I'm in a good place. But it's still 37.5 miles and I know it's going to hurt. Don't go off too fast or try too hard, don't go looking for the pain, let it come and find you. When I sign up for these race...

I've been thinking a lot about social media recently. I'll start by saying these are just my views and opinions on it. This is in no way an attack on other people and how they feel about it, they can do whatever they want, I have no problem at all with others. I realise I'm in the minority.  I just don't get it at all. I'm talking about social media now, not the internet, I'm not that much of a dinosaur. I know it can be  a good way to keep in touch with friends or relatives. Also for networking in a career or a professional path.  But I haven't a career or a big circle of friends. I'd rather just phone  them or arrange to meet up with them, face to face. Social media seems to be this place where perfection goes to live, look at me, look at what I've got, look at my wonderful body/car/holiday and look at how little and inconsequential you are. Why are these people always trying to impress strangers? Sorry, I mean 'followers' Obviously this do...

I've always been an avid reader. Books are a great comfort to me. A lot of historical fiction, some biography, travel books, people doing bike trips or ultrarunning, that kind of thing. I recently had a couple of Reiki sessions and afterwards I bought a book on Reiki to learn more about it, to try and understand it. That to me is the power of books, it's not always about being transported to another world and to lose yourself in a story. It's more about learning and expanding your knowledge.  When I think of my life, invariably there are books involved. Reading all the Secret Seven and Famous Five books as a child. And then later, as a 22 year old, sitting in a tent in California in 1992 reading The Idiot by Dostoevsky and also Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. Both books made a big impression on me and to this day I can remember that time in my life so clearly. One thing I love is to see people who are a lot older than me, reading. It's shows ...

I went for a run today, I've always thought that was the time for me to switch off my mind and just think about the run. But,  ironically,  I was thinking on my run that this isn't actually true. My body can just move on it's own, it doesn't need any help from me.  All those thoughts that come into my head while I'm exercising? They end up there for a reason, to let me sort through them and release all the negative ones I don't need anymore. Maybe this is why I feel mentally refreshed after a run? Because I've let go of extra baggage that I was carrying around in my head. Later I listened to Ides by King Creosote, it made me cry. Those people who have told me I'm cold, with  no emotions are a million miles away from the truth. Keith

Well, here we go.  I'll be writing down some of my thoughts and feelings as I move through this part of my life. Observations on things I do, people I meet and places that I visit. I'm not really a writer, I've never even kept a diary. I just think it'll be good for me to express myself. It may never get read by anyone else but that's OK. It could be lighthearted, boring or really deep. I'll just see where my emotions take me. Let's see what happens.  Keith